


"It's okay to cry."

by NightRain712



Series: Not-quite-drabbles [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Off-screen Character Death, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 05:55:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11937747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightRain712/pseuds/NightRain712
Summary: Derek is reeling in the aftermath of Boyd's death, and Stiles is there for him.





	"It's okay to cry."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm doing prompts! And this was a prompt from a list found somewhere on the internet. Prompt: "it's okay to cry."

“It’s okay to cry…”

The words are spoken softly in the darkness of the loft, and Derek wonders for a moment if the voice is even real.

"Derek?"

Yes, the voice is real, and it belongs to Stiles.

Derek looks at him out of the corner of his eye, words lost to him in the moment.

"You don't have to hold it all inside all the time." Stiles tells him. He sits next to Derek on the bed, side by side. His warmth is a sharp contrast to the cold that permeates the air.

Derek sighs softly, barely a huff under his breath, but Stiles hears it. His hand is gentle on Derek's forearm, a reminder that he's not alone. He feels like he is.

"It wasn't supposed to be him." The words are unexpected, and Derek himself is surprised to speak them. "It wasn't supposed to be any of them."

"I know Derek."

Derek wants to rage at the world for the unfairness of it, but he doesn't.

"I bit them to give them a chance. Not, not this - "

Stiles slides closer to him, hip to hip, and rests his head on Derek's shoulder. Derek doesn't know how he can stand to be here, can stand to touch him.

"You did the best you could."

"It wasn't good enough!" Derek says.

He sees Boyd's face in his mind, those last few moments.

"I wasn't good enough."

"Of course you were!" Stiles argues him. "But this was just the way things were supposed to happen. Some people die sooner then others, and there's nothing anyone can do about it."

"Not them, though. If I hadn't bitten them, they'd all still be alive."

His words are bitter, and filled with regret. They taste like ash on his tongue.

"It's my fault they're dead."

"It's not. It's the alphas' fault. They're the ones that killed your betas. Not you. You tried to help them Derek, that's all you ever did, was try to help them. No one blames you."

His breath is mist in the air, and he clenches his fists in his lap.

"People die everyday, Derek. For all you know, they would've died anyways, even without ever meeting you. You don't know what would have happened to them if you never bit them."

"I'm sure it would've been better."

"I don't think it would have been." Stiles confesses. "They might've gotten into drugs. Or Erica might've killed herself, Isaac would probably have killed his dad himself, or run away and been killed some other way. I'm sure Boyd would have been miserable for the rest of his life anyways. You did them a favor by giving them a chance to do better. You can't blame yourself that it didn't work out."

Derek squeezes his eyes closed, trying to shut out the world. Stiles' arms encircle him, holding him close, and Derek wonders how they got here: how this boy out of everyone is the one to stay, to stay by Derek's side.

"Why are you here, Stiles?" The question is a flame on his tongue, and he worries the answer might burn him alive.

"Because I care about you. I'm worried about you."

He swallows and warmth spreads through his chest, but it doesn't hurt like he thought it might.

"But why?"

Stiles hums thoughtfully, his fingers twining together to keep Derek locked in his arms, like he fears the alpha might run away. It's not totally in the realm of impossibility.

"You're a good man, Derek." Stiles tells him, voice softer than he thought it could be. "You always do your best, you always try to help everyone. Even when you found out it was Peter that betrayed you and killed your sister, when he came back, you still gave him the benefit of the doubt. Not that you trusted him, or should have, but you gave him another chance. I - well I admire your strength."

Derek snorts. His strength is a necessity. And a curse.

"Not your physical strength, Derek. Although, the muscles definitely don't hurt." Stiles squeezes one of his biceps playfully, and Derek smiles like Stiles probably intended him to. "No, I meant your strength of character. Like I said, your a good man. The best one I know, besides my dad. You've had a shitty life, that just keeps getting worse. No one would begrudge you if you decided to crawl under a rock and give up, but you don't. You never do. You walk through hell and keep going."

Derek looks at him then, wanting to see what's written across his face.

"Is that a quote?"

"Mhmm. Winston Churchill."

Derek sighs wearily, allowing himself to lean into Stiles.

"I don't know what I'm doing."

"Trust me, we know."

Derek frowns at him, not certain why that hurts, but Stiles continues his train of thought.

"But you're not alone. You'll always have me, and Scott."

"Scott hates me."

"Scott doesn't trust you. But I do. And he'll always trust me. So really, you have both of us. And my dad. And his deputies. Well, the whole sheriff's department. And the county. Actually, you have everyone Derek."

"You're ridiculous, Stiles."

"This class is ridikulous." He says it with a strange accent, like he's trying to be British.

Derek looks at him, puzzled why he said that, when he remembers where it's from. Then he's rolling his eyes and chuckling.

They fall into silence then, and Boyd's death doesn't feel as devasting anymore.

They sit together in the dark loft, the only sound being the ceiling fan working to freeze them to death, and if Derek sheds a few tears, well, Stiles doesn't mock him for it, only holds him tighter. It's the first time in a long time he doesn't feel alone.


End file.
